12 Days of Trump-Mas

2017 will go down in history as the glorious first year of President Trump’s eight-year mission to Make America Great Again. We’re still not tired of winning! In celebration of all the good things that the media absolutely, positively refuses to report on, here’s a look back at some of the fabulous things happened over the past year in our “12 Days of Trump-Mas” extravaganza!

12. Power Back to the People

Starting with President Trump’s inauguration on January 20th, 2017, power was given back to the people. The president’s speech rightly pointed out that the political class in Washington, DC had enriched itself and its cronies for far too long at our expense. He declared his inauguration to be the day that the power was returned to the American people where it rightly belonged. The bonus was watching many of the guilty politicians he was calling out squirm on the podium behind him!

11. Supreme Gorsuch

The Republican-led Senate held out for a year, refusing to confirm Obama’s gun-grabbing nominee Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court. The result was one of President Trump’s first major victories in Washington, catching the left off-guard with the appointment of a by-the-Constitution champ, Neil Gorsuch, to fill the vacant seat of the late Justice Antonin Scalia. Here’s hoping that Ruth Bader Ginsburg finally retires in 2018!

10. Twitter Triumphs

President Trump’s Twitter feed is more entertaining than anything Hollywood produces these days. He has taken the trolling of his enemies to new heights, sent the media into a 24/7 conniption fit and made us laugh until our sides hurt. He speaks directly to the people through Twitter and delivers news that the media willingly ignores on a daily basis. Even if you don’t use Twitter, it’s worth creating an account just you can follow President Trump’s hilarious tweets.

9. Law & Order

Sally Yates got to enjoy 15 minutes of virtue-signaling fame as America’s acting Attorney General when Loretta Lynch resigned and Jeff Sessions had not yet been confirmed by the Senate. When Yates, an Obama loyalist, announced that she would #RESIST by refusing to uphold our nation’s duly-passed immigration laws, President Trump immediately fired her. The president sent a message that there was a new sheriff in town and America was returning to a nation of law and order.

8. EPA Shrinkage

Barack Obama spent eight years turning the Environmental Protection Agency into a global warming Gestapo, waging war on coal and on everyday Americans’ energy bills. With the appointment of Scott Pruitt to serve as the new EPA Director, Trump has seen to it that the EPA is shrinking back to what will hopefully be Reagan-era levels. Maybe he’ll even eliminate it in his second term!

7. First Lady Melania

The First Lady has been elegant, graceful, beautiful and classy in every single public appearance and it is driving the left absolutely nuts. As the President has pointed out, the anti-American media spends more time scrutinizing Melania’s speeches than the FBI spent looking for Crooked Hillary’s emails. Isn’t it great to have a First Lady who isn’t ruining children’s school lunches or lecturing us on how she’s “not proud” of America?

6. Firing Comey

James Comey made millions of dollars as lead attorney for Lockheed Martin, negotiating arms deals with the Clinton-run State Department. Then Obama appointed him to be the FBI Director. He had a conflict of interest a mile wide and he ended up exonerating Hillary Clinton for crimes that land ordinary federal employees in prison. Comey absolutely had it coming when President Trump fired him.

5. Conservative, Inc. Exposed

The bow-tie-wearing, secretly-liberal moderates of Conservative, Inc., who purport to be the “true conservatives” in America while losing every battle to the left, have been exposed as the phony shams that they always were. These losers couldn’t even conserve little girls’ restrooms. President Trump’s brutally honest talk and take-no-prisoners attitude has exposed these losers as the enemies of America and shuffled them to the sidelines of irrelevance where they have always belonged.

4. Fake News

“You don’t get a question. You are fake news!” With that declaration, President Trump set the tone with CNN as America’s premiere purveyor of malicious lies and created a new term in the daily lexicon of conservatives. You know what? They really are fake news!

3. ISIS on the Run

Year after year, the Obama administration armed Muslim terrorist groups in the Middle East and Africa, causing untold misery for millions of people and sparking a wave of Islamic migration that threatens to destroy Europe. With President Trump in office, the rules of engagement have changed BIGLY. The Islamic State’s capital city of Raqqa has been smashed and liberated by US-led forces and the terrorist group is now reeling.

2. Pervnado

The Clinton campaign and the media desperately tried all year long to paint President Trump as a serial woman harasser. Boy, did that backfire on them! Clinton donor and NRA-fighter Harvey Weinstein, Charlie Rose from PBS, Matt Lauer of NBC, Garrison Keillor of NPR, Congressman John Conyers (D-MI), Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) and many more liberal Democrats, Hollywood big-wigs, talking heads and celebrities have had their careers destroyed by allegations that they are just as creepy behind closed doors as we always suspected they were. Will anyone ever again believe them when they declare that Republicans are waging a “war on women?”

1.Every Day is National Trump Day

Americans were reliably assured every single day for almost 20 years that it was inevitable that we would one day have to live under the benevolent rule of Hillary Clinton as the first woman president. 2016 was to be HER turn and starting in 2017, there would be a Planned Parenthood on every corner, all firearms would be confiscated and all bad-thinking, icky conservatives would be banned from the internet and shuffled off to FEMA camps unless we bowed down and kissed the ring of a known, unindicted felon.

Well, the Fake News lied to us about that as well. So every single day when we wake up (hopefully for the next SEVEN YEARS), President Trump will be in the White House instead of you-know-who.

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