Let’s All Point and Laugh as the Mueller Witch Hunt Flies off the Rails

Saying, “I told you so,” has never felt so sweet. At this point the only thing that could make Robert Mueller’s Very Special Witch Hunt even funnier would be if President Trump gulped down a big can of spinach and then smacked Mueller around a golf course with a giant whole tuna while whistling the theme song from the old “Popeye the Sailor Man” cartoon.

We’ve known all along that Mueller’s investigation would be fruitless, other than a few fabricated charges unrelated to the 2016 election against bit players in the Trump campaign, but who could have guessed that the investigation would be such a barrel of laughs?

First, Mueller charges Paul Manafort with several alleged “crimes” dating back to 2005, which was boneheaded enough to begin with. But then the Manafort case draws Reagan-appointed Judge T.S. Ellis out of a hat. Let’s just say the first day in court didn’t go well for Mueller’s team of Hillary Clinton cheerleaders and donors.

The judge asked where Mueller’s team draws its authority to investigate and charge Manafort with a possible crime from 2005, which our calendar notes happened sometime prior to the 2016 election. Mueller’s lawyers responded that they have… SECRET powers! Whether those powers are secret like Spiderman’s or super-secret like Dr. Strange’s was unclear.

Their powers are in fact so secret that the court is not allowed to see them, which caused Judge Ellis to exclaim, “C’mon man!” We’re not trial lawyers, but it seems like that means the case is not going so well for Team Mueller so far.

We were reassured that Mueller would leave no stone unturned in his hunt for the Russian colluders who stole Hillary Clinton’s rightful victory out from under her, and yet every time they turn over a rock, there’s another member of the Obama administration hiding under it with his or her fingerprints all over the evidence. Hi, John Kerry!

Speaking of secrets, the House Intelligence Committee has uncovered something so damning to the Obama administration that it sent a subpoena to the Justice Department for new documents – and the subpoena itself is classified Top Secret, according to the Wall Street Journal. Everyone in D.C. is sweating over this now.

Intel Committee Chairman Devin Nunes has also sent a warning that if the DOJ doesn’t stop flipping Congress the bird over its subpoenas, Attorney General Jeff Sessions will be held in contempt.

Even though Sessions recused himself from the Russia investigation, he can still step in and crack heads until his underlings comply with congressional subpoenas. It’s supposed to be the Department of Justice, which is accountable to Congress, and not the Secret Police with secret powers that the American voters aren’t allowed to know about.

We loved you in the U.S. Senate, AG Sessions, but it’s been really disappointing to learn that your super-power is invisibility.

And how about Rudy Giuliani’s performance? A-plus-plus!

Trump’s legal team sent Rudy out to all the talk shows and his job was to deliver rambling, contradictory information at every turn, knowing full well that Mueller and Stormy Daniels’ lawyers would be taking copious notes. Rudy dropped so much misinformation that we lost track of the number of times the news anchors had to exclaim, “Well, I didn’t know that! This is NEW information, folks!”

Rudy was not confused. He wasn’t suffering early-stage dementia. As any good trial lawyer will tell you, he was sowing confusion among Trump’s enemies and it worked brilliantly.

If the case ever goes to trial now, Trump’s lawyers have a huge series of landmines set up to make Stormy’s lawyers look like idiots and sow reasonable doubt in the jury’s minds. They know they’re never going to get a fair trial for President Trump, so they got out in front of things by sending Rudy in to confuse everything related to the case. Bravo, Rudy!

Stormy Daniels, of course, was yet another example of the failed #MeToo campaign that was supposed to be Trump’s undoing. Don’t be surprised if it turns out eventually that Team Mueller put Daniels up to filing her suit in the first place.

The situation has gotten so bad that CNN is now running the conspiracy theory that Trump cut the unemployment rate to 3.9% and gave everyone jobs to distract from the Stormy “scandal” that no one cared about. When is someone going to actually report that Daniels tried to extort a political candidate for money and then changed her mind, which is what the real story is?

Speaking of #MeToo… more laughs for Trump’s opponents!

Since you won’t see this in the mainstream media, yet another Democrat Congressman has been caught with his pants down, this time with a donor’s underage daughter (and it’s not Anthony Weiner for once!).

Anchor baby Rep. Antonio Cardenas, the Mexican-American DEMOCRAT representing North Hollywood in Congress, has been credibly accused of drugging the underage daughter of one of his donors at a country club fundraiser. Cardenas, a staunch Pelosi ally, then offered to drive the girl home and is accused of pulling the car over and raping her. It’s almost as if Mexico is not sending us their best!

Meanwhile, Mueller’s Very Special Witch Hunt continues, and the media is shocked – shocked, we tell you! – to learn that GOP primary campaign ads are portraying Mueller as the VILLAIN. “How is this possible?” they wonder. “We told those stupid hayseed hicks in flyover country that Mueller was a straight shooter, a G-man of integrity. And they think he’s the bad guy??

Yes, we see him as the bad guy. We can’t wait for first the Super PAC to produce an ad featuring Ben Stein repeatedly intoning, “Mueller… Mueller” as bumbling FBI agents keep stepping on rakes in the lawn at Mar a Lago.

Then we have bumbler-in-chief James Comey running his mouth off on his book tour and digging the hole even deeper. He gave an interview last week in which he claimed that there is no such thing as the Deep State… and then proceeded to describe the Deep State which he is a part of in great detail. Keep talking, Comey!

The Deep State’s error was they thought that President Trump and his allies wouldn’t play by their rules. Sorry, guys. We’re onto you and we’ve decided we want to keep President Trump. You’re the ones we are going to ditch. That’s why House Oversight Committee Chairman Trey Gowdy (R-SC) convinced the Inspector General to delay his report of DOJ corruption until after this summer… right before the midterm elections. Sleep tight, Deep State that doesn’t exist! Your day of reckoning is coming!

We can’t vote until November, but we do have one weapon in our arsenal that the American people can use against Mueller and his allies in the meantime. Just point at them and laugh mercilessly as their Russian conspiracy theory continues to fly off the rails.


Most Popular

These content links are provided by Content.ad. Both Content.ad and the web site upon which the links are displayed may receive compensation when readers click on these links. Some of the content you are redirected to may be sponsored content. View our privacy policy here.

To learn how you can use Content.ad to drive visitors to your content or add this service to your site, please contact us at [email protected].

Family-Friendly Content

Website owners select the type of content that appears in our units. However, if you would like to ensure that Content.ad always displays family-friendly content on this device, regardless of what site you are on, check the option below. Learn More



Most Popular
Sponsored Content

These content links are provided by Content.ad. Both Content.ad and the web site upon which the links are displayed may receive compensation when readers click on these links. Some of the content you are redirected to may be sponsored content. View our privacy policy here.

To learn how you can use Content.ad to drive visitors to your content or add this service to your site, please contact us at [email protected].

Family-Friendly Content

Website owners select the type of content that appears in our units. However, if you would like to ensure that Content.ad always displays family-friendly content on this device, regardless of what site you are on, check the option below. Learn More