A Modest Proposal to Outlaw All Forms of Liberal Speech

The French government has discovered that individuals are setting up anonymous Facebook accounts in order to post memes mocking the global elites. Sacré bleu!

The French government asked Facebook to turn over all of the private information on the individuals running those accounts, so they can lock the criminal bad-thinkers up for “hate speech.”

Showing the courage, fortitude and adherence to the American Bill of Rights that the company is known for, Facebook immediately surrendered to the French. French men and women who dared to make fun of the elites online will soon be going to jail, because Facebook ratted them out to the authorities.

In response to Facebook’s betrayal of its own users, a gleeful French attorney stated, “Hate speech is no longer considered part of freedom of speech, it’s now on the same level as terrorism.”

Got it? Speech the elites don’t like is now the equivalent of physical political violence. They consider themselves righteously entitled to use any means necessary to silence opinions they don’t like.

Freedom of speech in the West is dead. Don’t believe it? Try using the n-word in casual conversation at work tomorrow and see how that works out for your career. Better yet, use the n-word on social media. You’d be lucky to ever find a job again.

Free speech was a nice experiment while it lasted, but liberals have decided they cannot ever win arguments unless you shut up. Therefore, your speech rights must be infringed in order to serve the greater good, which to liberals is being able to do whatever they want to you, your kids and your wallet.

The genie is out of the bottle and it is never going back in.

Think about this: If the Supreme Court issued a unanimous ruling tomorrow that “hate speech” is protected under the First Amendment, how would every elected Democrat respond? How would every Democrat running for president in 2020 respond? We already know.

They would denounce the Supreme Court as an illegitimate body and begin submitting crazy plans to abolish it or reconfigure it with a guaranteed permanent liberal majority. They’re never going to go back to the system where all speech – even speech you don’t personally like – is protected in America.

Since we’ve crossed that bridge, I have a modest proposal: Let’s go ahead and ban all forms of liberal speech right now and get it over with. This is the only way they’ll learn to appreciate it. Under my simple plan, expressing liberal ideas out loud and with a straight face, or advocating liberal policy positions on social media, would result in varying prison sentences that all involve years of hard labor and intensively breaking big rocks into little rocks with a sledgehammer.

This plan is still in the fledgling stages, but here are some examples of how it could work.

“Global warming is real, and we only have 10 years to solve it!” Automatic 10-year prison sentence. Given that it was June 30, 1989 – 30 years ago – the first time the United Nations warned us we’d all die from the weather in 10 years, anyone still spouting this nonsense should be locked up immediately.

“There are 37 genders and because gender is fluid and, on a spectrum, and stuff, so, like, hairy men in dresses should get to use whatever bathroom they want! Plus, Drag Queen Story Time at the children’s library is a human right!” I’m triggered. Automatic 25-year prison sentence.

“Donald Trump colluded with the Russians to steal the 2016 election!” Automatic 12-year prison sentence. Violators are eligible for early release if they admit, publicly and on camera, with no takebacks allowed, that there is no evidence at all that Donald Trump colluded with Russia. However, they would never be allowed to take another job anchoring a cable news program.

“Borders are immoral.” Stating this out loud and on purpose is so blatantly stupid that it should warrant a life sentence. But since I would be a benevolent dictator, I would only send violators to prison for 20 years of hard labor for saying this.

“Taylor Swift is so talented!” Death. No appeal.

“The wrong people have all the money, so we need to redistribute your money to have equality.” I’m triggered again. That’s another automatic 25-year prison sentence, no early parole available.

As you can see, my simple and effective plan to outlaw liberal speech would solve most of the problems we have in America overnight. No exemptions are possible, and my plan would even cover things said on the floor in Congress.

Are you having fun yet, liberals? You might think I’m joking, but am I? These are the new rules you guys want to play under, so let’s rumble.


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These content links are provided by Content.ad. Both Content.ad and the web site upon which the links are displayed may receive compensation when readers click on these links. Some of the content you are redirected to may be sponsored content. View our privacy policy here.

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