Chelsea Clinton Threatens to Run for Office

The Clintons just won’t go away. Chelsea Clinton is back in the headlines once again, threatening America – and technically, threatening world peace – with the prospect of running for political office one day. Newsweek, in its typical non-biased, just the facts ma’am form of reporting, ran the headline, “Chelsea Clinton for President?” The Oval Office is quite a leap from “running for political office,” but as always, Newsweek gets an A for the effort of spreading Democrat talking points.

Aside from her mother, has anyone ever had less relevant life experience than Chelsea Clinton when considering a run for the White House? Never before has a person who accomplished so little been offered so much by the elites!

Lady GooGoo’s biggest claim to fame in life – other than being a shield for her criminal parents to use against legitimate criticism – is that she spent three years working as an NBC News correspondent. She received a gigantic salary of $600,000 per year, which ticked off all of the real news correspondents who worked their rear ends off in the news meat grinder to get that same job. Only it wasn’t a real job, in Chelsea’s case. It was more like a no-show union job on an episode of “The Sopranos.”

Real NBC News Correspondent: “There’s been a terror suspect arrested in Times Square! I’m ready to head out! Is anyone on the story?”

NBC News Producer: “Chelsea’s on it.”

Real NBC News Correspondent: “But… she’s like… literally asleep at her desk. Her hair has fallen into a half-eaten pudding cup.”

NBC News Producer: *Shrugs* “The bosses said she’s on it. So, she’s on it.”

A reporter for The Washington Post who was jealous of Clinton’s enormous make-work salary did a comparison between the workloads of actual NBC News correspondents and Chelsea. The result? For every 413 stories done by real correspondents, Chelsea averaged 20. It must be nice work if you can get it!

When the NBC News higher-ups did bother to have Chelsea *gasp!* do something at the office, it was always the easiest possible puff piece imaginable. A local reporter with the County Fair Beat would have been embarrassed by Chelsea Clinton’s output. But not Chelsea!

Who could forget the story she did about a woman who realized that horses can bring healing to people? NBC News also forked over the money to send Chelsea Clinton to Nairobi to do a story on baby elephants. Sticking with the animal theme – and also presenting the very real possibility that she is retarded – Chelsea interviewed the Geico Gecko. Spoiler alert: It’s not a real spokes-gecko, Chelsea! It’s a cartoon! All of America shed a tear when she asked the little fella how he’s holding up despite all of his fame.

Can we just say for the record, what a tremendous relief it is to have the Democrats’ moratorium run out on picking on the children of politicians? After browbeating America for years, long after Chelsea was an adult woman saying stupid things well into her 20s, the Clintons continued to hold their daughter up as a shield from all scrutiny.

“Excuse me, Senator Clinton, could I ask about your curious campaign contribution from the Soros—”

“How dare you attack my little Chelsea, you MONSTER!

The media also played along in protecting vapid sap Chelsea, even as she paraded around the country declaring abortion to be a civil right and other Democrat talking points.

“The children of politicians are off limits, yessirree! Up next on CNN, how much of a drain on society will Trig Palin be?”

Chelsea Clinton has never done anything or accomplished anything in life, aside from being Bill and Hillary Clinton’s daughter. However, Democrats don’t see that as a minus when it comes to holding someone up as a political candidate. It’s a feature, not a bug.

She doesn’t need to have accomplished anything in life in order for Democrats to take her seriously as a candidate. As long as she checks all of the little ideological boxes, she’s perfect as far as their concerned! Open borders: Check! Unlimited taxpayer-funded abortion on demand: Check! Amnesty for all illegal aliens: Check! White men are evil and the cause of all problems in America: Check! She’s a natural!

Fortunately, the American voters have played with the whole “family dynasty” insanity enough in recent years to realize what a mistake it was. It would be fun to watch Chelsea run for office for about five minutes though, just to see her put an audience to sleep. Maybe she could pull out dynasty candidate Jeb!’s big line to give us all a laugh: “Please clap!”

~ American Liberty Report


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