As the Trump presidency continues to march along and Make America Great Again, it’s worth pausing every once in a while, to check in and see how bad CNN’s ratings are. You know, so we can point at them and laugh.
CNN continues to be “all in” on Russian collusion evidence that will be appearing any day now. Mueller has the proof, he’s just waiting for the right moment to release it, so America can be saved from the long dark night of President Trump. Any. Day. Now.
Plus, not a day goes by when at least one anchor or guest on CNN compares President Trump or the members of his family to Hitler. For some reason, CNN’s audience keeps shrinking! It’s a mystery wrapped in an enigma!
Just how bad are CNN’s ratings? Well, looking to the latest Top 50 rankings of cable news shows, let’s check and see. If you scroll down the page… and then keep scrolling… and then scroll some more…
Oh, wait – sorry. Flip over to Page 2 of the rankings… and you’ll finally come to a CNN show that made the Top 50: Chris Cuomo’s 9 p.m. Eastern show comes in at number 28 overall. That’s the best that CNN can do, despite airing daily, wall-to-wall, infantile conspiracy theories about President Trump that put anything Alex Jones has ever said to shame.
Cuomo draws in just 1.1 million nightly viewers, compared to Sean Hannity’s Fox News audience of 3.3 million. Anderson Cooper’s 8 p.m. show on CNN has just a million viewers, compared to Tucker Carlson’s 3.1 million.
The best hour of television on CNN – the Chris Cuomo Dog, Pony & Russian Collusion Hour – barely beats the lowest-ranked hour of television on Fox News. Cuomo’s 9 p.m. program has just 10,000 viewers more than the 6 a.m. hour of Fox & Friends. That’s gotta sting!
That is embarrassingly bad. That is having the captain of the football team give you a swirly and stuff you in a locker while the cheerleaders laugh at your underpants bad. I keep waiting to hear that Don Lemon has begun doing NPR-style pitches for “viewer support” to keep CNN on the air.
And have you noticed that we only ever hear about what happened on CNN – because none of us are watching it? A handful of brave souls on the right, like the staff at the Media Research Center, continues to faithfully let us know about the daily lunacy happening on CNN. They’re like our canaries in the cable news coal mine.
How does CNN even manage to stay on the air at this point? Oh, right, they’re subsidized.
Everyone who purchases a cable TV package is forced to pay for CNN as part of the deal. Out of the 90 million cable TV packages in America and the estimated 186 million television viewers, only a million can be bothered to tune into CNN for its most popular hour of the day.
You can’t really blame television viewers for this problem. MasterChef Jr. has a more suspenseful ending for every episode. You never know which child is going to over-cook their bacon and get eliminated! But on CNN, you know how every episode will end: Trump is literally Hitler and it’s all Putin’s fault that Hillary Clinton isn’t the president. That’s just lazy writing.
Just this week, Jim “Karate Chop” Acosta spent almost an entire program talking about how President Donald Trump is a white supremacist and… wait for it… Members of the president’s inner circle refused to answer Karate Chop’s questions about whether Trump is mentally unfit for office. Trump must be crazy!
After all, his staffers ignored Karate Chop in the hallway as he shouted questions at them! What are they hiding? They were obviously uncomfortable with Karate Chop’s line of questions because THEY WOULDN’T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM! The anchor questioning Karate Chop about how White House aides won’t even look at him described the encounter as “surreal.”
By the way, you can thank the Media Research Center for that description of the program because I sure as hell didn’t sit through it. In fact, almost no one watched the episode of “CNN Right Now” that aired Karate Chop’s latest report – the show doesn’t even rank in the Top 50 of all cable news programs. CNN reached the bottom of the barrel two years ago, but they’re still digging.