Decision Time for America: Venezuelan-Style Socialism or Winning

Chris Matthews of MSNBC has rediscovered that tingle up his leg that he hasn’t experienced since election night in 2008. In fact, the entire mainstream media in America has the tingles right now because a bona fide Democratic Socialist candidate won her primary election against a 10-term incumbent Democrat.

The left is excited about the election of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez because they can finally admit what we’ve known about them all along, which is that the Democrat Party prefers Venezuelan-style socialism over this whole freedom and prosperity experiment known as “America.”

You see, the young, hip and pretty Ocasio-Cortez (President Trump would probably rate her a low 7) is not a phony Democratic Socialist. We’re accustomed to those. Obama was able to sucker stupid people into voting for him by spouting lines from the Communist Manifesto and pretending he discovered them in the Bible.

But meanwhile, he was staffing his Cabinet at the White House by draining the boardroom at Goldman Sachs. We’re used to liars and grifters like that who only pretend to be full-blown socialists, but they like Martha’s Vineyard too much to ever really give up that lifestyle.

The head of the Democratic National Committee says that Ocasio-Cortez is the future of the Democratic Party. Regular Americans heard that statement and thought, “Wow, the DNC isn’t usually that open and honest about itself.” Since she is the future of the Democrat Party, then by extension, she is the future of America if we ever allow the Democrats to regain power.

Ms. Ocasio-Cortez is the real deal. Just look at that wild, semi-crazed look in her eyes. She’s a believer. She looks like she’d be the one to pull the trigger at the behest of The Party on any employee who doesn’t show sufficient zeal for Karl Marx at the mandatory weekly office indoctrination meeting at Facebook. She’s even got the hyphenated last name to signal her eternal war against muh Patriarchy!

She’s also super-rich, just like that other socialist Bernie Sanders. Ocasio-Cortez grew up in one of the wealthiest one-percenter enclaves in America. As one astute observer on Twitter remarked, isn’t it interesting that none of these socialist rock stars ever originated in a successful socialist environment?

The problem with the Venezuela-style socialism that Ms. Ocasio-Cortez is peddling is that it always results in Venezuela-style conditions in the end when the looting is complete and it all falls apart. Have you seen what’s happening in Venezuela lately, as it reaches the end stages of socialism?

If you haven’t seen it, that’s because the American media is continuing a tradition it has had since at least the 1930s, in which the media covers up the results of its favorite political ideology.

Right now, it costs about 500 gajillion bolívars (Venezuelan dollars) to purchase a teacup of gasoline. At least, that’s what it would cost if there were a teacup of gasoline left in the once oil-rich country. Inflation is running at slightly over 40,000%, so by the time you finish reading this article, the price of a teacup of gasoline will have gone up to about 800 gajillion bolívars.

Gangs that held onto their rifles when the Venezuelan military fell apart are now in control of all water supplies in the country. All the zoos in Venezuela are empty because Walking Dead-style hordes of starving peasants emptied them out after all the grocery stores put up plywood in the windows.

Next up, the great exodus that follows anytime Venezuelan-style socialism runs its course. Masses of starving Venezuelans, who waited too long holding out hope for some sort of salvation, will now have to make a run for the nearest border.

Speaking of the great exodus after a national government collapses, Mexico just elected a full-blown communist for its new president. Now that Mexico has fallen into “failed state” status, the Mexican voters decided to fail harder by electing the one guy that would hasten their country’s demise.

Once the big collapse takes place, our southern border will be mobbed with 50 million Mexicans fleeing the heavily-armed drug cartels that will take over, making the nation look like Somalia, just without all the Muslims. That wall is sounding pretty attractive right now, isn’t it?

There’s your choice, America. We can stick to the path of freedom and prosperity under the current Official Champion of Awesomeness™ (and Delicious Taco Bowls) in the White House, El Presidente Donald J. Trump. Or, we can go down the path of Bernie Sanders, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and the New York Times in the 2018 midterms.

Job growth for June was estimated to hit 190,000, but we fell short and only reached 177,000. Why? Because so many Americans have jobs thanks to President Trump that companies can’t find enough employees to fill open positions.

This is incredibly refreshing after watching the Obama and Bush administrations gut our economy by shipping jobs overseas while at the same time flooding the country with millions of cheap foreign laborers.

Under President Trump, you can have a JOB! Not only that, but if you just hold on to the job, your wages will rise as the labor market tightens even further, due to President Trump deporting all of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’ relatives.

That’s one option. Under the other option – the Ocasio-Cortez option – you get to break into the zoo late at night and try to take down Dumbo with a sharp stick, so your kids won’t starve to death.

There is some bad news that comes with this option, however. If you want to actually cook your Dumbo steaks, you’ll have to light a fire by rubbing two sticks together because the power will be out, and the local Quik-E-Mart will have long since run out of matches and lighters. You’ll also want to wear kneepads when you want to get a glass of water from the nearest local warlord.

Option A: Freedom and growing prosperity under President Trump, coupled with overwhelming joy because life is so incredibly good. Option B: Dumbo steaks with optional char-broiling, accompanied by a nightmarish descent into an apocalyptic survival-of-the-fittest hellscape.

No pressure, but those are the two options we face in the 2018 midterm elections. Conservatives need to show up and vote if they like the sound of Option A. Indifference and low turnout will ensure that Option B will be chosen for you.

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