Get your popcorn ready! The Democratic National Committee has filed a federal lawsuit in New York against the Trump presidential campaign, the Russian government and WikiLeaks, accusing them all of conspiring to not let Hillary Clinton win the election. The results should be hilarious.
First, let’s review all the evidence that has been compiled so far by super-sleuth Very Special Counsel Robert Mueller that candidate Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin totally colluded together to beat Hillary Clinton.
Then, we’ll collate that with the list of evidence compiled by all the US intelligence agencies that began wiretapping Trump Tower in April of 2016 when it became clear that Donald Trump would win the Republican nomination. This will be a totally long list of Russian collusion evidence, so bear with us.
Oh, wait. Sorry. There’s still no evidence.
Any day now, though. Mueller’s on it!
This lawsuit is like a big stew of every Democrat conspiracy theory from the past decade. In other words: It’s awesome and it’s going to be a blast watching President Trump’s legal team destroy it bit by bit. (Note to federal judges: PLEASE don’t throw this frivolous pile of garbage lawsuit out!)
Not to mention, do the Democrats really want to tick off Julian Assange of WikiLeaks any more at this point? It was Crooked Hillary who started the whole “Assange is a Russian agent” baloney in the first place.
Assange doesn’t like Hillary Clinton, so he must be a Russian spy, right? Julian Assange couldn’t possibly have any other motive for wanting to keep Hillary out of her rightful place in the White House.
Remember when WikiLeaks was releasing the emails which proved that Crooked Hillary and her #MeToo husband were running that pay-to-play scheme between the US State Department and the Clinton Foundation? US foreign policy was for sale to the highest foreign bidder.
Even James Comey got in on the action, earning $6 million in one year for negotiating Lockheed Martin contracts with the State Department before Obama yanked Comey out of his lucrative day job to come play Pretend FBI Director for a few years.
When WikiLeaks was releasing those incriminating emails, Hillary Clinton mused about murdering Assange with a drone strike during an Obama administration cabinet meeting. Assange didn’t need to be a Russian agent to want to keep Hillary out of the White House. He just had the same sense of self-preservation that all normal Americans have when it comes to Hillary Clinton.
Assange recognized that Crooked Hillary is an authoritarian tyrant who is willing to launch drone strikes against the Ecuadoran embassy in London just to kill one of her political opponents. That doesn’t make him a Russian spy.
Assange, by the way, has physical proof that Russia did not hack the DNC servers in 2016. (Our money is still on murdered DNC staffer Seth Rich, whose killing in the summer of 2016 is still unsolved.) That’s according to Congressman Dana Rohrabacher (R-CA), who traveled to London to see Assange in person.
Unfortunately, Assange won’t turn that evidence over until he has an agreement that he won’t be arrested and extradited to America if he leaves the Ecuadoran embassy. And Rep. Rohrabacher hasn’t been able to meet with President Trump about it, due to super-sleuth Mueller’s Russia investigation. It’s all a mess, but hopefully that will come out now that the Democrats have dialed the crazy-meter up to 11 with this lawsuit.
Speaking of the complete and total absence of any evidence of Trump-Russia-WikiLeaks-Collusion, Rep. Devin Nunes (R-CA), the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, was finally allowed to see the initiating documents that launched the entire Mueller investigation.
Oh, no! Surely President Trump is DOOMED this time!
Actually, no. Not at all.
Nunes told Fox News that there was no official US intelligence used to launch the Mueller investigation. Not only was there no US intelligence, but Nunes says there was also no Canadian intelligence, no British intelligence, no Australian intelligence and no New Zealand intelligence that anyone from the Trump campaign colluded with Russian agents to hack the election and keep the Drone Queen out of the Oval Office.
That’s significant because America and those four allied nations of ours are known as the “Five Eyes” in the intelligence community. The Five Eyes share far more classified intelligence with each other than normal, because of the common language and common allied interests.
So, in addition to there being no evidence that super-sleuth Mueller and the entire US intelligence apparatus have been able to uncover, none of our allies have been able to come up with any evidence, either. According to Nunes, there was no official intelligence from ANYWHERE that warranted a Special Counsel investigation.
So, what was the originating document that launched the Trump-Russia-Collusion investigation? It was Hillary Clinton’s fantasy Russian potty-hooker dossier, the fake document compiled by Fusion GPS and paid for by Hillary Clinton and the DNC. Just as we all suspected, all along.
Folks, it is going to be truly hilarious to watch this federal trial, because now President Trump and Donald Trump, Jr. can countersue the Democrats. That will be truly eye-opening. In the midst of their terminal-stage Trump Derangement Syndrome, the Democrats apparently forgot that they can be countersued once they file a lawsuit.
So now, the Trump team’s lawyers can subpoena the hacked DNC server that was never turned over to the FBI. If Hillary didn’t wipe it with her Bleach Bit “cloth,” that server is likely to turn up all sorts of evidence of former DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman-Schultz colluding with the Clinton campaign to steal the 2016 nomination from Bernie Sanders. Whoops!
Plus, Trump’s lawyers can depose Hillary Clinton, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, the DNC’s Pakistani spy IT worker who was allegedly looting tons of classified intel for the Muslim Brotherhood, Barack Obama, James Comey, Loretta Lynch and the rest of the gang of thieves. Lawsuits work both ways, dummies!
It’s probably too much to hope that the Democrats won’t try to quietly withdraw this lawsuit within the next couple of weeks. President Trump would finally be able to turn the tables and start firing back at the 2016 pack of losers if the suit goes through. The Democrats have been living on fever dreams of Russian collusion since the night that Donald Trump and the American people whooped her fair and square. This lawsuit, though, is our dream come true.
P.S. Reminder to the judge, please don’t throw this lawsuit out!
