The leadership in the Democrat Party knows that a lot is at stake in the 2018 midterms. While they believe that the American voters will give them power in the House of Representatives, they are currently saddled with a base that is fractured and hopelessly drowning in a sea of Trump Derangement Syndrome.
With so much riding on this election, Democrats need to bring their ‘A’ game – and that means they need a bang-up slogan to trick people into voting for them. Ladies and gentlemen, they have a winner!
After discarding numerous previous slogans, the DNC has finally settled on the slogan that will crush their Republican opponents: “For the People.” If it’s good enough for a used car dealership, it’s good enough for Nancy Pelosi! Our question in response is, which people are those? You’re surely not talking about the American people, right?
Now that they have settled on a bumper sticker, perhaps it would be useful to explore a partial list of the previous 2018 slogans that the DNC considered and rejected for various reasons. Here are our top favorites:
Vote for Us. We Hate Heterosexual Marriage AND the Flag!
Higher Taxes? To Infinity and Beyond!
Make Israel Less Jew-y
Please Don’t Examine Our Historical Position on Russia Between 1916 and 2016
Of Course, We Want to Take All Your Guns, But We Can’t Say That Out Loud
Free Harvey Weinstein! Plus, Free Kevin Spacey, Matt Lauer, Charlie Rose, Al Franken, Louis CK, James Gunn, Ben Affleck, Oliver Stone, Sarah Silverstein, Brett Ratner, Mark Halperin, Dustin Hoffman, Andy Dick, Charlie Sheen, Russell Simmons, Richard Dreyfuss, George Takai, Tom Sizemore, Danny Masterson, Rep. John Conyers, Richard Branson, Garrison Keillor, Geraldo, Rep. Ruben Kihuen, Harold Ford, Jr., Bryan Singer, Larry King, Tavis Smiley, Morgan Spurlock, Morgan Freeman, Bill Cosby, Chris Matthews, Ben Vereen, Stan Lee, James Franco, Corey Feldman, Aziz Ansari, Seal, Nelly, David Copperfield and Bill Clinton!
Oh, Crap! Not #MeToo!
Me and My MS-13 Shadow
Bafflegabble!
Open Borders for a Permanent One-Party Majority
Bathrooms: They’re Not Just for Little Girls Anymore
If You Liked Your Doctor, We Promise to Help You Get Your Doctor Back. Really.
Why Should Europe Have to Pay for That NATO Thingy? We Got This!
Make America Smell Like San Francisco
Joe Biden Owns a Shotgun and Swims in the Nude
We Resettle Belligerent Muslim Refugees in Rural America – Where They’ll Fit Right In!
Jobs and Prosperity: Not All They’re Cracked up to Be
37 Genders and Counting
We’ll Stop Trying to Assassinate Rand Paul When He Stops Winning All the Arguments
One of the challenges that the Democrat Party always faces is that it cannot be honest with the American people about its bat-guano crazy positions on every single issue. The Democrats have to lie to the voters, otherwise they’d be unable to win any seats outside of California and New York.
They don’t want abortion to be “safe, legal and rare” – they want it to be on-demand, legal and partial birth.
They don’t want “common sense gun control” – they want total confiscation of private arms and a state monopoly on force.
They don’t want “bathroom equality” – they want pedophilia to be normalized so that their favorite Hollywood directors don’t have to pretend that their deviant preferences for toddlers and babies are “jokes.”
This is why Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has been such a blessing. The 28-year-old openly socialist candidate is too young and naïve to lie about the Democrats’ positions, and the Democrat establishment never expected her to defeat a 28-year incumbent. Now, Pelosi and Co. are desperately trying to get Ocasio-Cortez to shut up about socialism already.
Don’t let those crusty old white Democrats silence you as a Woman of Color, Alexandria! You go, girl – or whatever your chosen pronoun is! Also, and this is just a helpful tip for Ocasio-Cortez, based on watching how the Democrats operate for longer than she has been alive: Make sure you check the brakes on your car before you have to drive down a steep and twisty road. Just sayin’.
We also get the sense that one hand is not talking to the other in the DNC-Fake News cabal right now. The Democrats’ leadership REALLY wants Ocasio-Cortez to pipe down, but the media keeps running to her like she’s a cute zoo animal. Let’s see what trick she does next! Awww! She blinked!
The media just can’t get enough of her insightful comments on how stopping illegal aliens from crossing the border is the exact same thing as ethnic cleansing, or how socialism will totally work here in America unlike everywhere else because this time they’ll do it right and they’ll have the right people running it. Please, Ms. Ocasio-Cortez! Tell us more!
Then, there’s the Democrat doofus candidate in Florida who wants to tax all families with more than two children as “irresponsible breeders.” For the People! The Democrats have admired and fawned over China’s one-child, abort-all-the-girls policy for years now, so this position is not outside their idea of “mainstream” either.
Advice to doofus: Check your heart medication carefully before taking it in case Debbie Wasserman-Schultz swapped your pills out for Viagra. Just sayin’.
As the Democrats continue to crack up, the American people are noticing. According to the latest NBC poll, 56 percent of Americans now think that the Democrat Party is “outside the mainstream.” That’s the highest number of Americans who think the Democrats are nuts to ever be polled and it has to have Democrat strategists panicking. “Scaring the Daylights out of the People” might be a more accurate slogan than “For the People.”
Keep in mind, this is an NBC poll – one of the same outfits that predicted with 95 percent certainty that we’d all be bowing down to Crooked Hillary in her hot little muumuu right about now.
None of this should be mistaken as cause for conservatives to stay home on election day this fall. If the crazy “For the People” party takes the House majority, Speaker Pelosi will file Articles of Impeachment on day one, despite the fact that President Trump hasn’t committed anything even vaguely resembling High Crimes and Misdemeanors.
