Democrats Launch Hilarious “Settle for Biden” Campaign to Convince Voters to Elect Creepy Joe

Not since the news story broke that Hillary Clinton’s campaign planning was labelled “Preparation H,” has there been a more hilarious election slogan. That would be the Democrats’ latest call to “Settle for Biden.” This is the stuff of late-night stand up political observations.

It’s as if Democrats are working overtime to both tickle our funny bone and insult our intelligence.

Take Bernie Sanders’ claim that Joe Biden would be the “most progressive president since FDR.”

If by “progressive” he means the progressive onset of dementia, we’ll go along with that one. However, if Americans have a giant brain aneurism and elect dopey Joe, what we’re looking at is the Democrat version of the corrupt and hapless Warren G. Harding with far less charisma than Calvin Coolidge.

But they’re serious, folks. According to the Democrats, Biden’s most endearing qualities are:

1. He’s not Donald Trump.
2. Nancy Pelosi won’t rip up his State of the Union Address on camera with her scary Botox grimace.
3. Again, he’s not Donald Trump, whom they hate so much that they’ll settle for Joe Biden.

To show how “settle for Biden” is no parody, consider this July 13 Baltimore Sun column by Anijali Dassarma. The columnist begins with a lead-in that says everything the reader needs to know:

“I know that there are people who aren’t voting at all this presidential election. Though I will be voting for Democrat Joe Biden this fall, lately I prefer stating that ‘I’m settling for Biden.’”

Then he lists all the reasons he really shouldn’t “settle for Biden”:

• Biden opposed enforced bussing in the 1970s—a bad position if you a progressive, not so bad if you oppose the most egregious example of judicial activism since Roe vs. Wade)
• Biden wrote the 1994 Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement act that according to the columnist, “disproportionately harmed people of color and led to the state of mass incarceration we now live in.” (That’s progressive-speak for putting criminals in jail, who broke the law in disproportionately higher numbers than the majority.)
• He earned the nickname “Grandpa Badfinger” through credible charges of sexual misconduct.
• Oh, and there was the time Joe made a crack about the ethnicity of convenience store clerks—who happened to be of the columnist’s “heritage as a mixed-race American.” Joe’s truly dumb remark was “You cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian Accent.”

So, according that liberal columnist, who gives every Democrat many reasons they shouldn’t vote for Biden, he’s settling. It’s a choice, he claims, between the lesser of two evils: Joe Biden and his racist and sexually abusive past or Donald Trump.

So, while Democrats and discouraged Bernie Bros hope to inspire voters with the least inspirational slogan ever, they are—again—preparing to walk into the buzz saw of a Donald Trump election campaign. They believe that a tepid Wily Coyote candidate who can’t rub two brain cells together can beat President Trump once President Trump gets his base of normal people re-energized.

What Democrats see as the light at the end of the tunnel is really the Trump train coming straight at them.