Democrats to Leave No Double Standard Unused in Trump Hypocrisy

Chief witch hunter Robert Mueller’s initial criminal filing against former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen has turned out to be an even bigger nothing-burger than CNN’s Van Jones once admitted it would be. Not that this has encouraged Democrats to dial down the crazy. Someone will have to try to explain the paradox to us one day of how Robert Mueller has had proof that Donald Trump treasonously stole the 2016 election with Russia’s help… and Mueller has just been sitting on the evidence all this time, allowing Trump to run the country.

We’ll go ahead and summarize all of the Mueller findings, combined with all of fired FBI Director James Comey’s closed-door testimony, along with all mainstream media coverage of those two events, in one sentence to save time:

It’s all BS.

Everyone knows that it’s all BS, so now the Democrats are having to double down on their double standards, showing us amazing new heights of hypocrisy. It’s not enough for House Democrats to call for the impeachment of a sitting president due to *mumble-mumble-Russia-reasons*. Democrats are now actually asking for JAIL TIME for President Trump.

This would be unusual since the story has turned out to be – in a worst-case scenario – a possible boring campaign finance story. Since knowledge of history has become an incredibly short-lived thing in modern America, here are some reminders to think about every time you see another Democrat demanding prison time for the sitting president who was elected by the vast majority of real Americans.

The 2008 Obama campaign paid the largest single campaign finance fine in American history. The Obama campaign was fined $375,000 for shuffling $750,000,000 between the DNC and the campaign at the last minute. Any donations that exceed $1,000 within the 20 days prior to the election need to be noted to the FEC within 48 hours.

This is primarily to ensure that Chinese generals, Russian oligarchs and Saudi princes aren’t illegally dumping cash into a campaign at the last second to bribe a candidate or influence the outcome of an election. It’s also technically supposed to prevent people like Rosie O’Donnell from exceeding campaign limits.

Obama opted to pay the largest campaign fine ever, rather than disclose where all those millions of dollars in donations came from. Despite outrage from conservatives, no investigation was launched through the Department of Justice, the FEC, a Special Counsel or any other federal agency. The money could have come from Iran, Russia, North Korea or any other foreign entity, but we’ll never know because Obama simply paid a fine.

Paying a fine is the way that the vast majority of campaign finance violations are handled. This is because campaign finance rules are so esoteric and bizarre, filled with loopholes and traps, that no normal person could ever be expected to fully comply with them. If you think your tax forms are complicated, we invite you to take a look at the books of campaign the day after an election. It’s not easy, but to prevent every single elected official in Congress from going to prison, the usual accepted method of dealing with accounting errors is to assess them a fine.

The only time a Democrat will go to jail for a campaign finance violation is when they commit a blatantly criminal act. Jesse Jackson Jr., for example, was sent to prison for spending $750,000 worth of campaign donations on personal items, including flat-screen TVs for his home and a fedora that was once owned by Michael Jackson.

As a Republican, you can apparently be jailed for a minor campaign violation if you’ve made a fact-filled documentary that Obama didn’t like, as in the case of Dinesh D’Souza.

The recent historical case that the mainstream media would like you to forget about is that of John Edwards, the vice-presidential running mate of John Kerry in 2004. Edwards ran for president in 2008, placing second in the Iowa caucuses behind Obama and third in the New Hampshire and South Carolina primaries. By the time his campaign was ending, Edwards was widely considered the frontrunner to become Obama’s running mate. But then, someone noticed something curious in Edwards’ campaign filings.

The Edwards campaign was paying a “consultant” named Lisa Druck $15,000 a month – sometimes a lot more – in “consulting fees.” Enquiring minds found this suspicious, since there was no woman named Lisa Druck who worked as a political consultant anywhere in America. There was, however, a woman who was born with the name Lisa Druck who later changed her name to Rielle Hunter when she moved to Hollywood.

It was only after a National Enquirer reporter tailed Edwards during a campaign stop in Hollywood to the Beverly Hilton and caught him visiting his mistress – Rielle Hunter – and love child that Edwards finally admitted the truth: He was paying his mistress a salary in hush money.

The man who came within a hairs-breadth of the vice presidency was carrying on a relationship with this woman even as his current wife was dying of cancer. The family values-minded Edwards had gone so far as to promise his mistress that he would marry her on a New York rooftop in a ceremony with the Dave Matthews Band performing the wedding songs. You know, just as soon as the old ball-and-chain had kicked the bucket.

At the time, the Federal Election Commission had never had a case where a political candidate was paying a salary to his mistress. The FEC was forced to make a ruling on the case, and after much deliberation, the FEC determined that John Edwards’ salary to his mistress, which actually totaled more than $1 million by the time he was caught in the act, was not a campaign finance violation.

Not only did John Edwards not go to jail for paying his mistress with campaign funds, but we now had a new rule in America: It’s fine to take checks from donors while claiming that you’re going to fight global warming, and then turn around and give that money to your mistress. That is the final rule on the matter, courtesy of a former Democrat presidential front-runner.

President Trump allegedly paid Stormy Daniels approximately 25% of what Edwards paid to his long-term mistress, and Trump paid out of his own pocket. He didn’t spend money from Tom and Judy in Nebraska who cut him a check because they want him to build the wall. If Trump’s payment to Stormy Daniels – if it even happened – is somehow a campaign violation worthy of “prison time,” we will have reached a new level of double standard hypocrisy in America.

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