Despair Not! For the Dates Reveal the Truth in the Russian Collusion Fairytale

It’s the beginning of the end! The walls are closing in on this isolated president! We could be witnessing a TURNING POINT in our democracy – the end of the Trump presidency! If you’re starting to feel browbeaten by every CNN and MSNBC panel that claims that this time they really, truly mean it and Trump is “Outta here,” take a breath. The louder the tinfoil hat collusion posse is yelling, the better the situation looks for the champ in the Oval Office.

What’s that, you say? Former Trump attorney Michael Cohen’s cell phone number pinged off a tower in Prague in 2016? And it’s being reported by McClatchy DC? Oh, boy! We’re going to have fun picking this one apart!

Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s case fell apart back in March when his star Russian collusion witness – convicted Lebanese pedophile George Nader – fled the country. Nader was a terrible witness to begin with, but now that he’s gone, Mueller has no witness to the alleged “meeting” between Trump’s Education Secretary’s brother and some Russian oligarch in Seychelles in 2016.

The whole Russian collusion boondoggle was sketchy to begin with, but it’s been over since March of 2018. The only thing Mueller can do at this point, since his main narrative “source” skedaddled back to Lebanon, is scoop up Trump associates on process crimes such as “lying to the government.”

So now, McClatchy DC breathlessly reports that there’s NEW EVIDENCE. Michael Cohen’s cell phone number pinged a tower in Prague in August of 2016. Case closed, Donald Trump Jr. is going to jail for treason or something.

The liberal media desperately avoids looking at dates of key events in order to try to keep everyone confused about what happened in the long-ago 2016 campaign season. And there was a lot going on, which makes the media’s task in the conspiracy that much easier. The dates tell the real story. Michael Cohen says he’s never been to the Czech Republic and never been to Prague, and his passport stamps confirm this.

What was really happening back in August of 2016? Let’s look!

Do you remember mincing FBI agent Peter Strzok, the creepy weirdo who was inexplicably placed in charge of both the Hillary Clinton email investigation and the Trump Russian collusion investigation by James Comey?

On August 15, 2016, the ultra-creepy Strzok texted this to his mistress, FBI attorney Lisa Page:

“I want to believe the path you threw out for consideration in Andy’s office – that there’s no way he gets elected – but I’m afraid we can’t take that risk. It’s like an insurance policy in the unlikely event you die before you’re 40…”

Christopher Steele, the former British spy employed by Fusion GPS and hired by Hillary Clinton illegally through a cutout law firm (and later hired by James Comey and on the FBI payroll) wrote in the infamous Russian potty dossier in September of 2016:

“COHEN had been accompanied to Prague by 3 colleagues and the timing of the visit was either in the last week of August or the first week of September.”

Here’s the timeline more succinctly:

August 15, 2016: Strzok sends “insurance policy” text

August 28-Sept. 3, 2016: Cohen’s cell phone number pings tower in Prague

Days later: Steele writes outlandish claim that Cohen was in Prague to meet Russians

This is a textbook setup, ladies and gentlemen.

Even giving the Russian collusion hopefuls the benefit of the doubt, the series of events doesn’t hold water. Let’s assume for a moment that Michael Cohen is a James Bond-level superspy. Suppose he has a fake passport and an assumed identity that’s authentic enough to get through airport security in America and Europe. Yet in spite of that level of sophistication, Michael Cohen was dumb enough to bring his personal cell phone to Prague and leave it turned on while he’s engaging in a treasonous conspiracy to steal the election from Hillary Clinton for the Kremlin?

Really?

Is there anyone left in America in 2018, other than low-IQ street thugs, who doesn’t know how cell phones work?

Sorry to burst your bubble with our hate facts once again, SJWs, but Michael Cohen wasn’t in Prague. It’s remarkably easy to “spoof” someone’s cell phone number. There are dozens of totally free apps in the Google Play store that will let you spoof caller ID, spoof phone numbers and trick people. If your auntie is mad at you and won’t answer your calls, you can download a free app that makes it look like “Clint Eastwood” is finally calling her after all these years.

Likewise, there are dozens of call-spoofing apps that can make it look like Michael Cohen’s number is calling from Prague. All you need is a free app, Michael Cohen’s cell phone number, and an FBI agent (or former British spy) on the ground near a Prague cell phone tower.

If you can get free or cheap apps from Google to do this, imagine the tools that former FBI agent Peter Strzok and former British spy Christopher Steele have access to. The entire Russian collusion conspiracy was a setup to frame Trump and steal the 2016 election that he won in a fair-and-square election, despite Hillary raking in millions of disqualifiable votes from illegal aliens and foreign nationals.

How could McClatchy DC have made such a grievous error, since they are the standard-bearers for true, responsible journalism in America? We admire McClatchy’s DC bureau greatly for their integrity, adherence to truth and straightforward professionalism.

Hahahahahahaha! Just kidding. We think they’re a bag of ****s.

McClatchy DC is a gaggle of suspender-clad “reporters” in bow ties who were too unattractive to even be considered for jobs at CNN. In its efforts to destroy anyone who doesn’t want to Make America Great Again, a McClatchy reporter actually called the FBI a couple of months ago to suggest the possibility that we are Russian operatives here at American Liberty Report. What a jerk. And of course, the FBI laughed at him. (Spoiler alert: Our entire staff is more American than baseball, apple pie and Kid Rock winning a dwarf-tossing contest on the Fourth of July. Christopher Columbus barely beat some of our families to this country, so you really don’t want to go there, McClatchy.)

The only thing the left can cling to at this point is their hope that anyone who supports the president and his agenda must be a “paid Russian operative.” And that’s because to this date, Mueller still has nothin’.


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