Here’s a Quick Reminder That the Clintons are Terrible People

The media has embarked on a bizarre 2018 Monica Lewinsky Rehabilitation Tour for some reason, so we thought it would be a good time to review the fact that Bill and Hillary Clinton are awful people. The sycophants who surround, protect and “service” the Clintons tend to be pretty awful as well.

It’s important to publish the facts about the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky chapter in American history because many millennials have literally never heard the truth about this case – if they’ve even heard about it at all in the ensuing 20-year media blackout. Trigger warning: Liberal feminist fans of the #MeToo movement might want to avert their female gazes right now.

Let’s start with a quick pop quiz. See how many of the prominent Democrats you can tie to the following quotes:

  • “That f—ing slut! What does that whore think she’s doing to me?”
  • “I never would have slept with that b—h if I had known she was working for the Russians!”
  • “B—h, get the f— out of my house!”
  • “You’re my brown slave!”
  • “I’ve had more women by accident than JFK ever had on purpose!”

Numbers 3 and 4 are easily identifiable because newly-elected Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison and disgraced former New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman, respectively, have both been in the news in 2018. But for numbers 1, 2 and 5, well… sit down, millennials, because we have a story to tell you.

Once upon a time in 1994, a woman named Paula Jones sued President Bill Clinton for sexual harassment. Ms. Jones was a former employee of Bill Clinton when he was the governor of Arkansas. The case dragged on for years because Bill Clinton’s lawyers tried to claim that a sitting president cannot be sued for sexual harassment while he’s in office. A 1997 Supreme Court ruling said, “Oh, yes he can” and then things started to get crazy.

Paula Jones’ legal team took that green light and began tracking down other women who had been sexually harassed by Bill Clinton. Establishing a pattern of behavior like this is extremely important in winning civil sexual harassment cases (See also: Hillary Clinton donor pal Harvey Weinstein).

At the same time that the Jones legal team was investigating Bill Clinton for sexually harassing female employees, the Office of Special Counsel, led by a prosecutor named Ken Starr, was investigating Bill and Hillary Clinton for some other crimes such as Travelgate, Whitewater, Filegate, stealing files from Vince Foster’s office immediately after his suspiciously-timed “suicide,” “losing” Hillary’s Rose Law Firm billing records, pay-to-play junkets through the Commerce Department, renting the Lincoln Bedroom of the White House to Democrat donors and laundering illegal Democrat Party foreign donations from Communist China. No biggie.

Considering the fact that Bill and Hillary Clinton were under so many Special Counsel investigations throughout Bill’s entire presidency, it makes you wonder why Democrats eliminated the permanent Office of Special Counsel in the Justice Department once they gained control of Congress during the Bush administration. Curious!

Anyway, a LOT of women started coming forward to talk to Paula Jones’s lawyers, and others were tracked down who were forced to testify under oath about being groped by Bill Clinton. When the Office of Special Counsel caught wind that the White House was contacting a bunch of women and encouraging them to lie to Jones’s lawyers – which covers two actual crimes, known as witness tampering and suborning perjury – Bill Clinton was suddenly under two separate investigations (Special Counsel criminal investigation and Paula Jones civil investigation).

It was so complicated that the media has spent the last 20 years claiming that it was all a boring procedural thing about Bill Clinton’s private sex life, when they bother to mention it all. Hillary is a strong woman so shut up about it already!

As more and more women were coming forward with stories about how Bill Clinton had grabbed them against their will and started kissing them while putting their hands on his aroused genitals, former White House advisor George Stephanopoulos (and current totally non-biased, objective “journalist” for ABC News) and Hillary Clinton decided to adopt what they called the “Ellen Rometsch Strategy.”

Hey, who’s Ellen Rometsch?

Ellen Rometsch was an East German spy for Soviet Russia during the Cold War. Operating undercover for America’s enemies out of the West German embassy in Washington, DC, Rometsch successfully carried out a “honey-pot” espionage trap against President John F. Kennedy. (Kennedy is the answer to #2 in our pop quiz and his fragile, egotistical successor Lyndon Baines Johnson is the answer to #5.)

When Republicans in the Senate wanted to launch an investigation into how a Democrat president could be dumb enough to sleep with a Russian spy during the height of the Cold War, thus handing our enemies a major blackmail opportunity, Kennedy sent FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover to smear and intimidate the Senators and squash the investigation. That’s the “Ellen Rometsch Strategy:” Smear the accusers.

The White House launched a smear campaign against all of the women who were testifying to the Jones legal team, not realizing that they were under a secret investigation by the Office of Special Counsel at the same time. Suddenly, all of Bill Clinton’s sexual groping victims were being portrayed in the media as gold-digging sluts, courtesy of the Machiavellian “Ellen Rometsch Strategy” of Stephanopoulos and Hillary.

Bill just had bad luck! He was always comforting or encouraging these distraught women in the Oval Office and they were taking advantage of his kind nature. And the worst insult of all: Some of these lifelong Democrat women, campaign volunteers and employees were probably *gasp* Republican operatives who were part of the “vast, right-wing conspiracy” out to get Bill and Hillary.

Then the bombshell dropped. In the midst of one of Bill’s victims being ordered by a judge to testify about how Bill groped her buttocks and breasts, forced her to rub his crotch and smooched her without his consent, the witness to that assault had tape-recorded more than 20 hours of phone calls with White House intern Monica Lewinsky. Ms. Lewinsky spent more than 20 hours blabbing to her friend about how she was giving “a certain type of sex” to the married president in the Oval Office. Talk about establishing a pattern of behavior!

Monica Lewinsky is now giving speeches during her rehabilitation tour and telling everyone that Bill Clinton encouraged her to lie under oath to Paula Jones’ lawyers. A lot of media outlets are treating this as “breaking news” but the fact is – we already knew all of this. Bill Clinton was impeached for suborning perjury, encouraging witnesses to lie, tampering with witnesses, tampering with evidence, lying to a grand jury and encouraging others to lie to a grand jury.

We know this because it was in the Articles of Impeachment! The fact that the media treats Monica’s “revelations” as breaking news shows you just how fervently they have ignored this scandal for 20 years, because they don’t want to hurt Hillary’s chances for another run at the White House.

Hillary Clinton has famously complained that the Clintons were “dead broke” when they left the White House because they had spent so much money defending themselves against frivolous Republican investigations. That’s one way of putting it.

Another way of putting it is that Bill Clinton finally settled the sexual harassment case with Paula Jones for $850,000. And all of those crimes on the way to the settlement and his impeachment were committed because Clinton didn’t want to have to testify in court about how he took out his (small) erect penis in front of a female employee and told her to “kiss it.”

Oh, and the answer to #1 on our pop quiz is: Feminist champion Bill Clinton.

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