If everything that former Trump attorney Michael Cohen alleges turns out to be true, the Donald Trump for President Campaign could be forced to pay a fine to the Federal Election Commission under the rules governing contributions for zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
Wow, this Russian collusion story is turning out to be the most boring conspiracy of all time. Here we were, expecting Russian spies, poison darts, a watch that turns into a laser, sexy female assassins and a super-car with an Eject button, and all we got was a stupid potential campaign finance violation. Boooring!
Let’s try a different game. See if you can identify a pattern here, as originally outlined by the lovely Ann Coulter.
In 1980, Ronald Reagan narrowly defeated Jimmy Carter. There’s no WAY that could have happened in a fair-and-square election! Reagan was a celebrity buffoon! In addition, he was Literally Hitler. Therefore, the only possible explanation was that Reagan colluded with the Iranian government and convinced them to keep American hostages in custody to make Carter look bad. Literally Hitler! Collusion!
In 1988, George H.W. Bush defeated Michael Dukakis. The elder Bush once served as CIA Director, so he was Literally Hitler. Another mistake by the voters! What happened? Bush colluded with dirty tricksters and “dark money” sources to run truthful ads about Gov. Dukakis releasing a convicted murderer from prison for a weekend outing – who then went out and committed murder again. Literally Hitler! Collusion!
In 2000, George W. Bush narrowly defeated Vice President Al Gore for the White House. The race was “too close to call” – for the media, anyway – so Bush snuck over to the Supreme Court and plied Justice Antonin Scalia with illegal Cuban cigars and cheap wine. He colluded with the Supreme Court to STEAL the election from the rightful winner! Plus, Bush was Literally Hitler! Collusion!
In 2004, George W. Bush narrowly defeated the rightful next POTUS, John Kerry, who looks French and – if memory serves – served in Vietnam. By that point, the voters were already reliably informed that Bush was Literally Hitler, so how could he have possibly won? We have an answer! Bush colluded with Halliburton to hack the voting machines. Literally Hitler! Collusion!
Did you notice the pattern? Yes, Republicans are Literally Hitler! You got it! A skeptic might also note that the Democrats aren’t really interested in “democracy,” because they always make up a conspiracy theory/excuse whenever their preferred candidate loses an election.
The other thing that is crystal clear this week is that Democrats expect Republicans and little people to always go to jail for things that they consider “accounting errors” when they do it. During the 24-hour period after Michael Cohen announced that he had pleaded guilty to two “crimes” that – as Mark Levin points out – are not actually crimes, CNN and MSNBC used the word “impeachment” 222 times.
Cohen’s attorney, who also happens to be the former Clinton White House Counsel, then announced a GoFundMe page and begged for cash to help pay Cohen’s legal bills. No wonder the Democrat Party’s fundraising has been so flaccid this summer. The base is sending all their spare change to help fired FBI bureaucrats and Trump’s enemies instead of donating it to candidates! Someone should alert Nancy Pelosi.
Here’s the deal. Cohen says he paid Stormy Putin, or whatever her fake porno name is, some cash to keep quiet before the election. She demanded money, Cohen paid her, and Trump later reimbursed him. Those are the only facts known about the case. The Democrats, the Mueller witch hunt and the media are all painting this as a “campaign contribution” designed to sway the election, which was not reported to the FEC.
In contrast, the Obama campaign switched off its credit card verification on its main donation website in 2008 and again in 2012. Between those two elections, Obama raked in more than half a billion dollars in unverifiable, possibly FOREIGN donations in a clear violation of campaign finance laws. He paid a fine and that was it. The media never brought up the terms, “impeachment,” “jail time” or Politico’s favorite term, “the walls are closing in on this president!” That’s how campaign finance violations are treated, unless of course you are a Republican or apparently, more specifically, if you are Donald Trump.
It’s also believed that Obama paid for the Rev. Jeremiah “God Damn America” Wright’s sudden months-long vacation to Ghana before the 2008 election. Wright has stated that Obama offered him $150,000 to cancel all of his speaking engagements prior to the election. That was more money than Stormy Putin allegedly received and again, there was no talk of impeachment for that.
Campaign finance violations are so boring that they usually don’t even make the news. Campaigns have thousands of contributions coming in, all around an average of $200 apiece that have to be kept track of. An accountant made a mistake, the FEC finds it during an audit and the campaign pays a fine. Done. Mueller has no business even being involved with this incident from this point on, because the FEC will now have to rule on whether it was actually a campaign violation or a private business transaction.
This is additionally doubtful since Trump financed his own campaign, and technically he can do whatever the heck he wants with his own money. He’s got the gold-plated bathroom fixtures to prove it. No one ever goes to jail for campaign finance violations. They pay a fine, at most, as Obama and Hillary have both had to do. Jail time only happens when someone embezzles cash from a campaign, which no one is alleging here.
But for Donald Trump, it’s, “Off with his head!”
Here’s another example of rules for people who are not Democrats. Reality Winner – yes, that’s her real name – was just sentenced to a little over 5 years in prison for sharing a classified document with a reporter. One document. 5+ years.
Judicial Watch is still poring over Hillary Clinton’s preserved emails and examining the illegal server that her dog ate, and to this day, it is still uncovering NEW, previously-undiscovered-by-the-FBI, classified documents. All of the classified documents on her illegal server didn’t warrant even a slap on the wrist. Don’t get us wrong – Reality Winner deserves 5+ years for leaking classified information. But if the law were applied equally, you-know-who never would have been allowed to run for president in 2016, because she would have been wearing a striped pantsuit and knitting license plate covers in Joe Arpaio’s Home for Wayward Former Senators from New York.
All these months of tormenting Donald Trump and his family – and all they turned up was a campaign finance violation? When do we get our stupid T-shirts to commemorate this?
