Iraqi Mechanic Sabotages Plane for More Overtime Hours

Great job once again, immigration bureaucrats! A mechanic for American Airlines has been arrested in Miami for sabotaging a plane in July with 150 passengers on board. “Florida man,” as the media is referring to him instead of by his read name, Abdul-Majeed Marouf Ahmed Alani, has admitted to the criminal charge of deliberately tampering with the plane.

The good news is that Mr. Alani did not manage to murder 150 passengers in his quest to obtain more overtime hours at work. The bad news is that there are probably 75 of Mr. Alani’s closest relatives from Iraq working at airports across America, thanks to our fabulous chain migration system.

Mr. Alani immigrated to the US in 1988 and immediately went to work for American Airlines. I know what you’re thinking: America is so fortunate that we had that pool of world-renowned airplane mechanics in Iraq to draw from when we were going through the dreadful “Airplane Mechanic Shortage of 1988.”

Investigators found video of Mr. Alani opening the engine compartment on the plane and spraying foam onto the air data module. This is a minor piece of unimportant equipment that does things like presumably keeping the plane from crashing into the ground. An emergency sensor went off when the pilots started the plane, so they never took off.

When co-workers viewed the video footage of the sabotage taking place, they immediately identified their Iraqi co-worker as the suspect, because of his distinctive limp. So, in addition to getting a great Iraqi airplane mechanic through our immigration system, we also got a partially disabled Iraqi airplane mechanic out of the deal. That’s like… twice the diversity!

Mr. Alani quickly confessed to the crime as soon as he was in custody. He’s been charged with a single count of willfully damaging or disabling a plane. If you were one of those immigration skeptics, you might be wondering why Mr. Alana has not been charged with 150 counts of attempted murder. But that just shows that you are a Bad Person under year 2019 immigration worship standards.

Alani told investigators that he sabotaged the plane in order to get more overtime hours from his employer, American Airlines. The FBI was quick to announce that the incident had nothing to do with terrorism. That’s… actually worse.

If Alani had sabotaged the plane as part of a personal jihad, at least that would have made sense to everyone. He would have simply been practicing his religion. But to risk the lives of 150 people for some extra overtime hours? That’s pretty nuts.

All of this raises another very good question. What’s the name of the immigration bureaucrat who rubber-stamped this goofball for entry into the US? Why are we never allowed to know the names of the federal employees who sign off on immigrants who end up carrying out crimes that would be unthinkable to most Americans?

According to published reports, Alani has been nothing but trouble ever since he first immigrated to America and started working on airplanes. He has multiple reprimands and rebukes in his work history for making mistakes while working on airplanes. That’s comforting.

Alaska Airlines fired him in 2008 after he installed the wrong battery in an airplane. Oops. In response, Alani then tried to sue Alaska Airlines for racism. What a peach!

Part of the problem with our immigration system is that immigrants like Alani sit down in a room with one bureaucrat from the Immigration and Nationalization Service (INS) for an interview. Sometimes there’s a translator present. That one individual INS union employee, who has a stack of appointments and mountains of paperwork every day, spends five minutes with the immigrant asking a few boilerplate questions.

Then, they rubber-stamp the application and the person gets permanent residency in the US. If the INS bureaucrat screws up and one of their immigrants shoots up Virginia Tech or a county health building in San Bernardino or a military recruiting station in Chattanooga, or they sabotage a plane, no biggie. It’s not the INS bureaucrat’s fault in any way, even though they’re the only person in the federal government to ever have face-to-face contact with that immigrant.

Here’s a possible solution. Change the law so the INS sets the number of immigrants allowed into the US every year. BUT… if one of the immigrants rubber-stamped for entry commits a crime, the INS bureaucrat who let them in faces an equal punishment to whatever the immigrant receives, due to their negligence.

The fear of punishment over allowing in an Abdul-Majeed Marouf Ahmed Alani would cause immigration to slow to a crawl, and the ones admitted would only be the cream of the crop.


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