Remember ‘Baghdad Bob,’ the guy who was the Iraqi Foreign Minister and chief propagandist during the 2003 Shock and Awe tour? That guy was great! He was literally the funniest thing on TV. America’s finest were rolling toward Baghdad, toppling Saddam’s regime, knocking out key infrastructure, melting bad guys and showing what the US military is really capable of so long as they have the proper Rules of Engagement. And then Baghdad Bob would pop out of whatever spider hole he was in and start spouting his hilarious one-liners.
“There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!”
“They’re not even within 100 miles of Baghdad. They hold no place in Iraq. This is an illusion!”
“Today we slaughtered them in the airport. They are out of Saddam International Airport. The force that was in the airport, this force was destroyed.” (Cuts to video of US soldiers doing the moonwalk at Saddam International Airport as they guide supply drops into the area which they clearly control.)
Baghdad Bob was hilarious because of the zeal with which he approached his propaganda job, and because we could instantly see that his proclamations were fake news. But Baghdad Bob is no longer funny. He’s still hard at work, but he goes by several different names these days. Names like Rachel Maddow, Don Lemon, Joe Scarborough and Greg Gutfeld.
Now that we’re in the early stages of Civil War 2.0 and heritage Americans are losing that war to foreign globalist invaders, Baghdad Bob is a problem.
The wild propaganda is getting out of hand because Baghdad Bob controls the entire message other than the internet and talk radio. We can’t rely on the media, including Fox News, to refute anything that Baghdad Bob says. (Tucker, Judge Jeanine Pirro and Hannity being the only exceptions on Fox.)
Buzzfeed reported using fake anonymous sources that President Trump instructed his dopey former lawyer to lie to Congress – an impeachable offense. Even the Special Counsel’s Office called this out as a lie, but Baghdad Bob continues to tell us that the story might be true. After all, Buzzfeed has such a great track record.
Then Baghdad Bob regaled for the entire weekend leading up to Martin Luther King Day about a group of evil white Catholic school boys who made racist chants at innocent black passersby. One of those evil privileged white Catholic boys even smirked at a special revered Indian elder, who just so happened to be playing the drums on the sidewalk. Correction: The white boy smirked his privileged smirk at an Indian elder veteran who claimed he served in Vietnam, but didn’t.
That kid used his white privilege, his MAGA hat and his smirking danger smirk of oppressive smirkitude to oppress all Vietnam combat veterans of color and innocent black passersby who were just trying to enjoy a stroll past the bus stop. That kid and his family and his friends and his school all deserve to be killed, says Baghdad Bob, because he’s a menace to society who aggressively stood there and smirked. That Covington kid should have bowed before the morally superior drumming activist and apologized for his white privilege. He should have cowered in the presence of people of color. How dare he think he can just stand there, smirking!
Baghdad Bob even wants to change the Pledge of Allegiance. He found an illegal alien activist who is calling for the Pledge to amended, so it can be used to bludgeon smirking white faces that refuse to pee their pants in front of bullies of color. Here’s what the illegal alien lobby and Baghdad Bob want kids in American schools to recite every day:
“I pledge allegiance and love to our indigenous and immigrant heritage, rooted in the United States of America, and to our civil rights for which we strive, one voice, one nation, for equality and justice for all.”
Notice that the non-assimilating, non-American invader spawn doesn’t want American kids to pledge allegiance to the flag. You know, an actual symbol of principles that we can unite around despite our differences as individuals. Oh, no. Smirking American kids need to pledge allegiance and love for the invading hordes that will one day treat them as hated and despised minorities in the country their ancestors built. Baghdad Bob is cool with that idea. And the revised pledge will be to civil rights, rather than those pesky universal rights that apply to everyone like free speech and owning guns.
Stamping forever on smirking white privileged faces with a boot is what Baghdad Bob is all about.
Baghdad Bob always tells you the truth, the whole truth and nothin’ but the truth.
Hillary Clinton did not pay for the Steele dossier. The Steele dossier was never used to apply for a FISA warrant against Carter Page. James Comey and Rod Rosenstein never signed off on using the Steele dossier as the sole piece of evidence to obtain a FISA warrant on Trump campaign worker Carter Page. Obama never wiretapped Trump Tower. Michael Cohen went to Prague. Michael Cohen’s cell phone pinged a tower in Prague in 2016. Michael Cohen can’t testify before Congress because President Trump and Rudy Giuliani threatened to kill his family.
Stormy Daniels is a champion of free speech. Stormy Daniels is attractive. FBI and CIA spies were never embedded in the Trump campaign. And besides, the FBI and CIA spies who were not embedded in the Trump campaign were embedded there to protect Trump from the Kremlin. If you hold a red MAGA hat in front of a mirror, it reflects a swastika. And a KKK hood.
Americans can thank Barack Obama for the 2-year economic miracle we’ve enjoyed. Donald Trump is a Russian agent. The caravan is a thousand miles away. Donald Trump hates the military because he wants to pull the troops out of the Syrian civil war – a conflict that all American military members would be proud to die in. The flag is racist, so we need to change the Pledge of Allegiance to honor immigrants. The flood of White House leaks stopped after Trump fired McMaster, but we promise that McMaster was not our source for the leaks.
There are no US troops at Saddam International Airport. Hey, did you just smirk? No, seriously. DID YOU JUST SMIRK?
