The Academy Awards are coming up in a few weeks. I don’t know about you, but my top pick for Best Unintentional Comedy is definitely “Hate Hoax 17: Fighting the F— Back Against MAGA Country with the Help of 2 Virtuous Nigerian Immigrants.” The movie has such a big twist ending that literally no one in the mainstream media and none of the Democrats running for president in 2020 saw it coming.
The film, starring some third-rate B-lister named Fuzzy Omelet or Messy Wallet or something like that, deserves high marks for its stirring portrayal of one man’s battle against MAGA country. You will laugh until you cry when you see this movie, unless you’re in the media… in which case right now you’re probably furiously backpedaling to claim that you saw the ending coming all along.
In case you missed the original setup for this story, the media was in desperate need of a new anti-Trump hoax that they could push 24/7 for a few weeks. This was needed to distract from their catastrophic failure in the Buzzfeed news hoax, which was followed up back-to-back with their embarrassing failure to get the children from Covington Catholic school killed for wearing MAGA hats. Jussie Smollett and some immigrants came to the media’s rescue!
During the recent Polar Vortex in Chicago, when temperatures dropped to 51 below zero, Jussie Smollett decided to go for a walk in the middle of the night. There he was just innocently strolling along, when he decided to take a short cut through an alley. And that’s when DISASTER struck.
Lurking in the alley, where it was also 51 degrees below zero, two hulking white guys in MAGA hats were waiting with a bottle of bleach and a noose. They were hoping that a gay black actor from the show ‘Empire’ would walk through the alley and stumble into their trap.
The two Republican conservative Trump supporters POUNCED on Fuzzy Omelet and proceeded to beat him up. In the victim’s own words, he “fought the f— back,” but there were two of them… and those totally-white Trump supporters were just so big and privileged!
And then… *sniffle* …they tied a noose around his neck and poured bleach on him. As a final indignity, the two whiter-than-Wonder-Bread attackers screamed into the 51-below-zero night, “This is MAGA country!”
Because when we all think of Chicago, the birthplace of Barack Obama’s US Senate and presidential campaigns, we automatically think, “Yep… that’s MAGA country right there.”
Here’s a quick tip to spot a media hoax every time. When the media or the “victim” insists that the perpetrator was wearing a MAGA hat, it’s a hoax. Every. Single. Time.
The only exception to this is when a Democrat puts on a MAGA hat and stages a false flag attack. Like the guy at the first Trump campaign rally of the year in El Paso last week. A guy who looked like he was awfully Mexican – wearing a MAGA hat – rushed at the media cameras and started pushing people.
The media quickly labeled it an “attack” on the press, inspired by Donald Trump’s hateful ‘Enemy of the People’ rhetoric. Conservatives began laughing hysterically when someone noticed that the guy’s MAGA hat literally had the purchase sticker still flapping on it. He had gone to the rally, purchased the hat and immediately ran over to “attack” the media.
Wow, the press certainly shut up about that guy in a hurry! You’d have thought that he would be good for several days’ worth of front-page coverage, but of course, it was all a hoax. Plus, they needed to get back to telling you all about Jussie Smollett’s brave recovery from his MAGA attack.
Just to recap, here’s a short list of all of the stupid people in the media, Congress and Hollywood who uncritically accepted Jussie Smollett’s story without thinking, “Huh, that all sounds kind of convenient to Hollywood and the media’s anti-Trump agenda.”
Lee Daniels, the activist director who created ‘Empire’ and thus sustained Smollett’s career for some reason, quickly rushed out to support this hate hoax without question. Katy Perry, Cher, Olivia Munn, Billy Eichner, Rosie O’Donnell, Rob Reiner, Janelle MoNae and director Barry Jenkins all jumped on board and every single one of them blamed President Trump for the attack on Fuzzy Omelet.
Actress Ellen Page went on Stephen Colbert’s show and cried about the attack. She blamed President Trump and the intolerant, hateful hater Vice President Mike Pence for the attack. Something like 20 million people have viewed Page’s tearful denunciation of President Trump and Vice President Pence for the attack.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi tweeted, “The racist, homophobic attack on [Smollett] is an affront to our humanity. No one should be attacked for who they are or whom they love.”
Mad Maxine Waters blamed the attack on President Trump and stated, “Why all of a sudden do we have people unable to study while black, unable to mow a lawn while black, unable to have a picnic while black, and being attacked?”
Senators Cory Booker and Kamala Harris both denounced the attack as a “modern-day lynching.” Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez jumped on the story like she was riding a high-speed bullet train across the ocean to stop the last cow in Ireland from farting.
The United States Senate, eager to signal its virtue to everyone, passed a brand-new bill to make lynching a federal hate crime. That’s not even a joke. That literally happened in response to the “attack.” The Republican-led Senate under Mitch McConnell was unable to hold an Obamacare repeal vote or to pass a standalone bill to fully fund the wall over a two-year period… but it dropped everything to pass a bill to stop the massive wave of MAGA hat-wearing racists who are lynching gay black actors from Hollywood.
And of course, the entire mainstream media accepted Smollett’s narrative without question. Will any of them issue an apology to President Trump, Vice President Mike Pence or the millions of people in actual MAGA country? Not likely.
In other news, black Americans are doing so well in the Trump economy that even a failed actor can afford to fork over $7,000 to a couple of Nigerian immigrants, to fulfill his “Beat me up in a dark alley” fetish.
