Note: As of this writing, Virginia Governor Ralph Northam is weighing whether or not to resign from office over a yearbook photo. But because irony is so hilarious, we cannot stop thinking about or talking about this story.
Brett Kavanaugh’s 1984 drinking buddy “Squee” must be overjoyed now that “Coonman” is in the running for the worst nickname ever. Or at least, Squee would be overjoyed if we could actually get the media to pay 1/1024th the amount of interest in Virginia Governor Ralph Northam’s yearbook photo as they’re paying to yet another fake MAGA hat hate crime.
Democrats know that if Northam’s career can just survive until after President Trump’s State of the Union address, the media will pivot to the latest sky-is-falling, beginning of the end, walls-are-closing-in, turning point for our democracy, “NOW can we impeach Trump?” narrative.
If you haven’t been focused on anything but the Super Bowl since last Friday, you may have missed this little story. Virginia Gov. Northam’s old med school yearbook surfaced and on the two-page layout dedicated to dear old Ralph, there’s a photo of two guys at a party: One in blackface and one in a Ku Klux Klan uniform and hood.
The Democrat Governor immediately apologized for the photograph, admitted that he was in the photo and stated that he couldn’t remember whether he was the guy in the blackface or the guy in the Klan hood. Apparently, he dressed up in a Klan hood and in blackface so much when he was at med school that he just couldn’t remember.
For those who don’t remember, the Northam campaign was the co-author of the most mind-numbingly stupid and racist campaign commercial in modern history. The ad featured a white guy driving a pickup truck and flying a Confederate flag. The white guy drives through a suburban neighborhood and runs over little black, Mexican and burka-clad children. And the punchline is that the truck had a bumper sticker for Northam’s opponent, Republican Ed Gillespie.
Northam won the election by repeatedly, openly and brazenly calling his Republican opponent a bigot and a racist. Here’s a tweet that a sitting US Senator sent for Northam on his victory, which didn’t age very well:
Kamala Harris: Congratulations to @RalphNortham and his team for showing that Virginia won’t stand for hatred and bigotry.
In his initial rambling press conference, Northam apologized for appearing in the photo. He explained that while he couldn’t remember whether he was in blackface or the Klan hood, he did have a specific memory of putting on blackface for a talent contest at one point.
You see, it was perfectly cool for him to put on blackface because he was doing a Michael Jackson impression and he was really, really good at doing the moonwalk. Plus, he doesn’t remember why all of his friends gave him the nickname “Coonman.”
Ralph Northam almost did the moonwalk at the press conference when a reporter asked if he could still do it. This very nearly became our second-favorite televised event of all time, following the election of Donald Trump. Northam was going to do the moonwalk to prove his street cred, until his wife stopped him. We’re going to be sad for a while about missing out on that!
Keep in mind that this all happened just a couple of days after Virginians realized that Governor Northam thinks it’s perfectly okey-doke to kill a newborn baby in the delivery room. Coonman gave an impassioned defense of the Democrats’ new abortion policy by stating that they (Democrats) are willing to “make the baby comfortable” after he or she is born… and then kill the baby.
Political observers with keen memories will remember that this is the exact policy that candidate Donald Trump said was shared by Hillary and the Democrats back in 2016 – but the media all laughed at Mr. Trump and claimed he was a conspiracy theorist.
Northam has defiantly refused to resign so far (as of this writing), despite nearly every prominent Democrat in the country calling for him to step down. Isn’t it strange that no one in the Democrat Party called for Northam to step down for his creepy desire to kill babies in the delivery room? “Oh, but that photo! Man, he’s gotta go!”
If he does resign, Lieutenant Governor Justin Fairfax – who is black – would be promoted to Governor. This is all especially confusing to Democrats in Virginia, because they didn’t realize that they had voted for a black Lieutenant Governor. That’s because Governor Coonman omitted pictures of his running mate from his campaign flyers when he ran for office. Coonman must have thought it would hurt his chances with Confederate voters if he had a picture of his black running mate next to him. Stay classy, Democrats!
Oh, wait, there’s more!
Now that Fairfax is on the verge of becoming Virginia’s Governor, a woman has come forward and accused him of sexually assaulting her in Boston at the 2004 Democratic Convention. The woman’s name is Vanessa Tyson and she’s a professor at Scripps College in California. Who knows where those allegations will go over the next few days.
Look, we get it. It sucks that a picture in a person’s yearbook from 35 years ago can come back and destroy their career. That’s really dumb and it’s a terrible standard to hold anyone to. But… these are the new rules that Coonman and his armies of SJW lunatics are demanding that the rest of us live under.
It’s also ironically hilarious that the Democrats’ constant fake allegations of racism and sexual assault against conservatives always circle back around to bite the Democrats right in the Schumer.
We’d love to get back to the point where people are judged on the content of their character and for their actions as adults. But you’re the ones who opened this Pandora’s box, Democrats. You’re the ones who are going to have to put the crazy back in the box, otherwise we’re going to keep deploying your own rules against you. Now, moonwalk for us!